Follow your own advice

This afternoon, Peter and I were eating some chips and salsa for a snack.  I hopped up and spelled out “SNACK” with the magnetic letters on our refrigerator, then I asked Peter if he could read the word I had just made.  He looked at me and said, “Mommy, focus on eating right now.”

Thumbs up for swimming lessons

Just a quick note to say that Peter’s first swimming lesson went well.  One of the kids in the class practically clung to his mother (who stayed on the deck next to the pool) for the whole time.  When the instructor led the kids away, Peter looked like he wanted one of us to come along, but we stayed put.  We figured he could handle it alone, and he did.  He was a little uncertain about doing some of the things the instructor asked, but he did them, and he was smiling (and shivering) when it was all over.  It helped that two of the kids in his class of five were quite willing to try everything, so when Peter saw them putting their legs in the water or giving the instructor high-fives or putting their ears in the water (one at a time), he tried too.  Unfortunately, the instructor today was a substitute.  He’ll meet the instructor for the rest of his lessons on Thursday.  I hope she’s equally as enthusiastic and gentle with the kids as the instructor today.

The last time Peter went to his grandparents’ house, he came home with a bunch of new clothes, including a swimsuit.  When we packed his stuff for his swimming lessons, he said he wanted to wear his new swimsuit, so we took it.  When he changed into it, however, we realized it was much too large for him.  It would have slid right off with any halfway vigorous activity.  Don ran out to the desk to see if they had a safety pin and came back with a small butterfly clip; I was able to double up the waistband in the back and clip it and he made it through the class without mooning anyone.

The lessons are in the Red Cross Swim Preschool program and all the levels have animal names.  Peter is in the Salamander group, but he’s not familiar with the name.  When he came to us after the lesson, he announced, “I’m a Salamaster!”

Peter has eight lessons in this session;  he’ll have lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays until the end of July.  The fifth lesson is parents’ night and we get to go in the water with him.  All in all, it was a good introductory swimming lesson experience.

Sunny days

Finally, we’ve had some decent weather.  We had a long spell of gray and/or rainy days, with a short stretch of ridiculously hot, sunny days thrown in.  For the last few days, we’ve had nice, sunny days that haven’t been scorching. 

We took advantage of the weather on Saturday to go for a bike ride as a family.  First we rode to the university’s new recreation center, so Peter could see where he’ll be taking his swimming lessons.  Then we went to Don’s office so he could get a file off his computer; while we were there, we rode the elevator up to the top of the building (9th floor) to see the view.  After that, we rode along the bike trail to downtown and went to the market for the first time.  What an overwhelming experience!  Everywhere you turn, there are so many things to see.  You can get food of all kinds: Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Portuguese, British (fish and chips), Italian, Indian, Middle Eastern, Kenyan/Jamaican, pizza,  and some sort of Eastern European that we couldn’t quite identify.  There are at least two bakeries, a pasta specialty store, a spice/bulk food store, a natural foods store, and some non-food stores as well (selling artsy things).  We had some Thai food for lunch, then browsed a bit and bought some foccacia buns before Peter got worn out and grumpy.  We will definitely be back.  It is so cool to live within biking distance of so many neat destinations in the city!

Here’s a picture of the flowers I planted on Canada Day.

Holidays and Celebrations

My 30th birthday was on Sunday, the 28th.  I didn’t have any special plans for it; I don’t care that much about my birthday.  (I remember when I was working as a grocery store cashier in Alaska–a summer job since I was a substitute teacher during the school year–and my co-workers were surprised that I worked on my birthday.  It was a day of the week that I usually worked; why would I bother requesting it off?)  The most I did was buy some candles and decide on a type of cake for Don and Peter to make for me.

The day before my birthday, we went to our local mall.  We had a race: Don and Peter biked there (Peter on the Trail-A-Bike) and I went in the car.  It’s less than a kilometer away, so they actually beat me, because I had to stop at two lights and they took a shortcut.  I browsed around the library while they bought me a birthday present and stowed it in the trunk of the car, then they rode home and I did some grocery shopping (putting the groceries in the back seat so I wouldn’t see my present).  They made the cake that afternoon.  After Peter went to bed, Don gave me an envelope with a gift certificate for a day off without Peter, but with Don.  The certificate didn’t tell me what we were doing, other than that we needed to be at a certain address in Chatham (a two hour drive away) at 10 am.

In the morning, after breakfast, we had birthday cake and I opened my presents.  They gave me chocolate, bubble bath, and a bath pillow.  Then we headed to Chatham, where the address turned out to be a Tim Hortons.  We waited a few minutes for Don’s mom to show up and she took Peter.  Don then gave me a second envelope, which contained tickets for a show in Stratford called “Ever Yours, Oscar.”  We drove home and packed, then drove to Stratford and got there just in time for the 2 pm show.  It was a dramatic reading of excerpts of letters written by Oscar Wilde.  We had “stage pillow seating.”  I’ve never heard of such a thing before.  We actually sat on the stage on pillows.  They were the cheapest seats, but in my opinion, we had the best view in the house.  There were only 15 pillow seats and we were the second couple to arrive, so we got to sit right in front.  The show was entertaining and gave me a better understanding of Oscar Wilde.  After the show, I opened the third enevelope, which contained a certificate for “a relaxing and romantic evening with her favourite guy” with a note at the bottom, “Over 5 years old.”  It had details on where we were spending the night–in a boutique hotel in downtown Stratford.  We checked in to our gorgeous room.  It had a view of the river,  a fireplace (that looked like an aquarium), a king-size bed, and a jacuzzi.  We went out for an amazing dinner at an Italian/Mediterranean restaurant, then spent the evening enjoying ourselves in our room.  (Note: jacuzzi + bubble bath = LOTS of bubbles)  We had to be up early in the morning in order to pick up Peter again, but before we left, I had a fantastic breakfast of mixed fruit on top of homemade granola on top of yogurt and some peppermint tea.  All in all, it was a truly memorable birthday and a wonderful surprise from my incredible husband.

Yesterday was Canada Day.  It was my first Canada Day in Ontario, though not my first in Canada (I was in Quebec for Canada Day in 1999 and in British Columbia in 2001).  I nixed the idea of going to fireworks since we just went to the big fireworks show in Windsor a week ago.  Don wanted to go to a historical re-enactment thing, but the weather looked lousy so we gave up on that idea.  We ended up riding our bikes to the mall for pizza for lunch (the mall was closed but the pizza place was open) and there was a clearance sale on flowers and other gardening stuff going on in the mall parking lot.  I’d been wanting to plant some flowers next to our front door, so I came back with the car and got some red and white impatiens and white petunias (going with a Canadian patriotic color scheme in honor of the day).  I planted the flowers and did my best to hack at our overgrown bush with a pair of scissors (how I missed the hedge trimmer we sold in our garage sale!).  Now my landscaping is complete and I’m glad that the area I have to tend is not any larger.

I’m finding a reasonable balance between getting things done around the house, spending quality time with Peter and Don, and doing things for myself.  I’m enjoying the stay-at-home-mom-for-the-summer thing.  Peter and I have been going to the library once a week, going grocery shopping about every four or five days, going to the playground when the weather is decent (which hasn’t been often–it’s been gray and damp or raining often), doing math and reading lessons, and this week I started doing a read-aloud of a chapter book (in three days, we’ve read the first three chapters of The Wheel on the School by Meindert DeJong).  Next week, Peter starts his swimming lessons–they’ll be on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the rest of July.  I’m a little nervous about how that will go, considering how much he dislikes having his face get wet, but we’ll see.

One final note is that we are having a blast with the Wii Fit that I got for my birthday from my parents.  It has so many different games and activities and is fun to use–you forget that you are exercising!  Don is on it right now as I type.

Fireworks

Yesterday we drove to Windsor to see the big fireworks show over the Detroit River.  My sister- and brother-in-law got a room on the 14th floor of one of the hotels downtown and they invited us to watch the fireworks with them.  What an experience!  The Windsor/Detroit fireworks are always a great show–it’s the biggest and best display of fireworks I’ve ever seen.  They shoot them off from three barges in the middle of the river.  Most of the fireworks are the old stand-bys, but every year they manage to add something I’ve never seen before.  Watching them from the hotel room was great.  It was air conditioned, no bugs, no one smoking nearby (I hate second-hand smoke!), and nothing to block our view since we were so high up.

The City of Windsor found sponsors (Zehrs grocery stores being the main sponsor) to pay for free shuttle bus service between the two malls and downtown.  We went with Don’s mom and step-dad to one of the malls and caught the bus.  The shuttle service was very well-organized.   They had lots of buses running constantly back and forth, fences and signs to direct people into the right lines for the return trip, and police controlling about a dozen intersections to stop traffic and let the buses go through.  While we did have to wait in line for a while to get on a bus afterwards, they did an impressive job of moving a LOT of people very quickly.

While it entails a considerable amount of driving time to/from Windsor and travel time to/from downtown for about a half-hour event, this is the stuff memories are made of.  Peter enjoyed the bus rides as well as the fireworks.  He stayed up WAY past his bedtime and we’re paying for it today, but it was worth it.

Reflections on bike riding

Peter is still loving the Trail-A-Bike; we all are.  On Father’s Day, Don’s wish was to go out for breakfast.  So we all rode together to a restaurant about two miles away.  After breakfast, we rode through campus, got on the bike trail, and rode along the river to a park with a playground.  All of this before it got too hot outside.  It was a great morning.

Peter will probably get a two-wheeled bike next year, when he is five.  I got my first bike for my fifth birthday.  (Peter’s birthday is in February, though, and a bike isn’t a such a great present when there’s snow on the ground.)  The American learning-to-ride-a-bike tradition is for a parent to hold onto the seat and run along behind the child until the child learns to balance.  I don’t remember anyone ever doing that for me (maybe someone did, but I don’t remember).  I remember practicing on the driveway.  I would get on the bike, push the pedals, veer off to one side, and fall down.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Then, magically, one time I went a little farther before falling off.  I thought it was a fluke.  I tried again.  I did seem to go a little farther.  Soon I could make it across the width of the driveway.  I yelled for my mom to come out and watch me.  I had learned to ride a bike!  It didn’t take long until I was riding up and down the sidewalks.

When we get a bike for Peter, I’m not going to put training wheels on.  As far as I can tell, no one actually learns to ride with training wheels on.  People just put them on bikes so little kids can feel like they’re riding and not get hurt or frustrated by falling down, but kids still have to learn to balance after the training wheels come off.  Why waste the time using training wheels?  Peter can practice and fall down until he figures it out.  If he gets tired of it, he can go back to his tricycle or ride with us on the Trail-A-Bike.

If I had the money, I’d buy him a balance bike so he could practice balancing without having to deal with pedaling.  You can see a video of kids on balance bikes here at 5 Minutes for Mom, where you can find details on how to enter a contest to win one.  You can check out a variety of models here; personally, I like the ones that look more like “real” bikes rather than the wooden ones.

Learning to ride a bike is an important rite of passage for kids.  Bikes give kids freedom and a greater range.  I already let Peter ride his tricycle to the playground by himself (after going with him a couple times to make sure he knew how to get back home).  In a year or two, he’ll be riding by himself all over the housing complex.  Then maybe to the library (less than a mile away, with no major streets to cross).  Then maybe to the bike trail (which requires crossing one major street).  And then the world!

Going to school

Yesterday morning, Peter and I happened to be outside shortly before 9 am, on our way to the nearest playground in our housing complex.  We saw an amazing sight.  From every corner of the complex, kids were coming.  Kids wearing backpacks.  Kids walking alone, with a parent, with other kids.  Lots of kids.  All headed in the same direction, towards the school that is adjacent to the housing complex (you step from housing complex land right onto the schoolyard).

For a moment, I was a little sad that next year, Peter won’t be one of those kids.  It would give him an increased sense of community to be able to walk to school.  It would probably help him make friends who live nearby.  But Peter won’t be going to that English-language public school.  He’ll be riding a school bus to another part of town to attend a French-language Catholic school.  There’s a good chance that he’ll be the only kid in our housing complex to attend that school.

I have an interest in homeschooling but it is not practical for our family now.  Since we can’t homeschool, I am glad that, in Ontario, we do have some choices about Peter’s education.  We can choose ”public” (non-sectarian) or Catholic schools (both are tuition-free and publicly funded) and English-language, French immersion, or French-language instruction.  That makes six different schools that we could choose to send Peter to.  While there would be some advantages to sending him to the nearest school, we believe that it is more valuable for him to become fluent in French and to receive a Christian religious education.  He will become part of the francophone community in Canada and the much larger worldwide community of Catholics.  At this point, I can’t predict whether he will remain in French Catholic schools through high school graduation, but we’ll start him there and see how things go.

I Survived the Move

I am still alive.  I just haven’t had much computer time since my last day of work, which was also the day I moved for real.  (I moved my stuff on Saturday, a week ago, but I didn’t actually move into my new house to stay until Tuesday night).

So far, I’ve been busy with unpacking/organizing and running errands (like dealing with Peter’s school registration).  Unpacking is going slowly, but we are making progress.  We can do the most important daily functions (cook, wash dishes, wash clothes, go on the internet, watch tv, sleep, get dressed), but I’m still getting tired of digging through boxes trying to find things.  Today I finished the bathroom (except for hanging up a picture); it’s the only room that is completely done.  The living room is the next closest.  The kitchen still has numerous boxes in the middle of the floor, even though we’ve unpacked quite a few.  I think they’re multiplying when I’m not looking.  I’m not even going to think about dealing with the basement until the first and second floors are done.

We’ve bought a number of things to make our lives more comfortable in our new place, some more necessary than others.  They include a new garbage can, a rack that hangs from the shower head, a dish rack (the only major drawback to our new place is the lack of a dishwasher), and ceiling fans (no air conditioning either).  We also bought a used Trail-A-Bike.  It hooks up to an adult bike so a kid can ride along.  One of the nice things about our new place is that it is within biking distance of the university, the river, parks, schools, a mall, and various other commerical establishments.  However, Peter doesn’t have a 2-wheel bike yet, and he wouldn’t be able to keep up on a long ride with his tricycle.  So this way, we can go for longer bike rides as a family, and he can get an idea of what it feels like to ride a bicycle.  We’ve only used it once so far because the weather has been mostly gray, drizzly, and/or rainy, but it was a successful trip (to a riverside park with a playground) and we’re looking forward to getting more use out of it this summer.  Peter is thrilled with the Trail-A-Bike and he likes his new bike helmet, too–he even wore it when he rode his tricycle.

Yesterday evening, we went to a St-Jean-Baptiste celebration at a different riverside park.  It was a celebration of French-Canadian/franco-Ontarian culture.  Some clowns did a skit and there were a variety of toys, balls, and sidewalk chalk to entertain the kids.  There was a gelatto stand in the park, so we had a treat while we listened to a live band.

While I’m a bit grumpy about the unpacking, I am enjoying the advantages of urban living.  There are several playgrounds and a ton of kids in our housing complex.  Just about every place we want to go is nearby, unlike where we lived before, where everything was at least a 20-minute drive away.  Don has been commuting to campus by bicycle–we haven’t missed our second car at all.  When I get frustrated with the state of the house, I have to remind myself that I haven’t even been here a week yet.  It will take some time to settle in, but it will happen.

Busy, busy

We are busily getting ready for our move.  Make that, Don is busily getting ready for our move.  He’s working his tail off packing and running errands and calling people and taking care of all the details while I wrap up the school year at work.  I am so lucky that he is such a hard worker and so on top of things.  I’m feeling rather overwhelmed by the major changes going on and wishing that I had some time after I finished the school year to prepare for the move.  It is not to be, though.  Moving day is Saturday, but I still have to work on Monday and Tuesday next week (I’ll stay at my parents’ house for those two days).  I’m not sure how I’m going to feel on Wednesday when I wake up to a new life, suddenly done working for a couple months and living in a new house in a new city.

On Monday, I went to get my eyes examined and get some new glasses.  I’ve been paying for vision insurance, so I figured I might as well use it before I move.  I forgot how excruciating it is to hold your eyes open while someone shines a bright light directly into them.  The thought actually flitted through my mind during the exam that maybe that is what hell is like.  The good news is that my retinas are in great shape; the bad news is that even with those stupid-looking disposable sunglasses they give you after they dilate your eyes, I had a rough time driving home afterwards.  My prescription changed very slightly.  I was tired and I don’t like picking out frames (I have to shove my nose two inches from the mirror to see how they look on my face), so I took the easy way out and asked if I could get the same style frames I have now.  I like the frames I have now and they don’t seem horribly out-of-date.  Fortunately, they are still available, so I got that chore taken care of quickly.  The next question is whether they will come in before we move or I’ll have to make a special trip to drive back and pick them up.

Switching tracks

Last week, after writing about my second thoughts about going to graduate school, I e-mailed the link to Don.  I also sent it to three women whom I respect: an academic, a retired teacher, and a lawyer-turned-homeschooling mom.  I hoped each could offer some useful advice and that their different perspectives would help me look at all sides of the situation.  I was amazed by the time and care they put into reading and responding to my thoughts; I am grateful that I was able to turn to them and profit from their wisdom and experience.

I spent hours reading their responses, reflecting, and writing about my evolving thoughts.  Don was in Ottawa for a conference and that wasn’t the kind of conversation we wanted to have on the phone, so we waited until he came back last Saturday.  We went for a long walk and caught up on each other’s lives since we had last talked on the phone, then we had a good conversation about whether I would start grad school in the fall or keep teaching.

Don said when he read my blog post, he felt bad about pushing me into applying for grad school, even though he was only doing it because he thought it would be good for me.  He acknowledged that it was my decision to make and that I have put a lot of thought into it.  He insisted that he didn’t want me to make the decision based on money, and he said that if I decided to teach, he wanted me to do the part-time master’s in education.

I had a lot more to say, trying to summarize my thoughts, which had evolved considerably since my blog post.  I explained why I feel that continuing to teach is the better choice for me, rather than pursuing an academic career.

While I would enjoy being a graduate student, it feels kind of selfish to consider it.  It wouldn’t be a bad thing to be a student and then become a professor, but I think there are more positives if I continue teaching.  We could afford to have more children, which is very important to me.  [One of my mentors wrote, "You have mentioned often your desire to have another child...But Peter is growing up without his sibling(s)."]  I would have the opportunity to experience a greater feeling of accomplishment in teaching.  I would contribute something useful to society as a teacher, more so than as a graduate student.  I could still earn a master’s degree part-time.  Six years from now, I would have plenty of options.  I could keep teaching full-time or part-time, go back to school and pursue an academic career, let Don take over the bread-winning and be a stay-at-home (possibly homeschooling) mom, or find something new to do.  I would feel more comfortable considering a range of options if I’d been teaching, whereas if I earned a Ph.D., I would feel like I had to seek an academic position.  I appreciate that feeling of future flexibility.

At my grandfather’s funeral, I remember noticing how many times people mentioned his six children, thirteen grandchildren, and one great-grandchild (Peter).  But there was only one brief reference to his job, where he worked for around 30 years.  That stuck with me.  My family is more important than my job.  The real question to answer is not, “What do I want to do?” but “What is best for me and my family?”  When I looked at this decision from that perspective, it was easier to decide that teaching is better than graduate school for me now.

Although my decision was made almost a week ago, I waited until I took care of the details before posting here.  I contacted the school board, was again offered a position on their occasional teacher list, and accepted it.  I contacted the university and let them know of my intention to withdraw from the linguistics program.  I feel surprisingly calm and peaceful about this big, huge, life-course-changing decision.  While it might seem a bit of a waste to spend all the money and time applying to grad school and then back out of going, I think there is value in this experience.  It means I have actually chosen to continue teaching, even though I had other opportunities.  It’s not just something I’m doing because I feel I have to, but because I decided that this is what I want to do.  This is the path that leads in the direction I want to go.